Why I Finally Took a Santa Barbara Road Trip—And Why It Changed Everything
As a native Californian and someone who’s called Los Angeles home for the past three years, I’ll admit something with a touch of embarrassment: I’d never visited Santa Barbara—until now. For a place so close, so renowned for its beauty, and so steeped in California charm, it had somehow slipped through the cracks of my travel list.
But timing, as they say, is everything.
This road trip came at a moment I didn’t know I needed. In 2023, I lost my mother to glioblastoma, a rare and aggressive form of brain cancer. Her battle was long and painful, and her absence has left a quiet but constant ache. We were both Leos—proud, passionate, and deeply connected—and our birthdays fall just days apart. When her birthday landed on the very Saturday I was scheduled to leave for Santa Barbara, the trip suddenly felt symbolic.
I wasn’t just going on vacation.
I was going to breathe.
To remember.
To heal.
And Santa Barbara, with its sun-drenched streets, ocean breezes, and slow pace, became the perfect sanctuary.
The Healing Power of a Simple Road Trip
There’s something uniquely therapeutic about a road trip. Unlike flights or train rides, driving gives you control—over the music, the route, the pace. You can stop when you need to. You can cry, dance, or just sit in silence with your thoughts.
For me, road trips have become a form of moving meditation. Over the years, I’ve learned that preparation is key. I now plan at least a week in advance—not just for logistics, but for mindset. This isn’t just a getaway. It’s a reset.
And when grief is part of your story, that reset isn’t a luxury. It’s essential.
What I Packed: Light, Intentional, and Healing-Focused
Packing for a mental health retreat looks different than packing for a typical vacation. I didn’t bring five outfits or endless accessories. Instead, I focused on comfort, versatility, and items that brought me peace.
Here’s what made it into my suitcase:
- One elegant dinner dress (for a night out at Loquita Santa Barbara)
- Colorful swimsuits and cover-ups
- Flip-flops and a lightweight beach bag
- A two-piece short suit for easy beach days
- My favorite skincare and toiletries (familiar scents are grounding)
- A journal and pen (to process emotions)
- A good book (The Comfort Book by Matt Haig)
The lesson? Pack light, pack with purpose. When you’re emotionally drained, decision fatigue is real. The fewer choices you have to make, the more space you create for healing.
What I Researched Before the Trip
Knowledge brings calm. The unknown can be exciting, but when you’re already emotionally fragile, surprises can feel overwhelming. That’s why I always research my destination ahead of time.
For Santa Barbara, I focused on three things:
- Distance & Drive Time – Just 90 minutes from Los Angeles, it’s the perfect weekend escape.
- Key Experiences – I wanted beach time, wine tasting, and great food.
- Quiet Spaces – Places where I could be alone with my thoughts, like Leadbetter Beach or the Hotel Californian’s rooftop.
I made a loose itinerary, but left room for spontaneity. Sometimes the best moments happen when you’re not chasing a schedule.
Top spots I planned:
- Hotel Californian – For its Moroccan-inspired luxury and spa
- Pali Wine Co. – For intimate wine tasting
- Loquita Santa Barbara – For vibrant tapas and margaritas
- The Funk Zone – For art, shopping, and coastal charm
Having a plan gave me permission to relax—because I wasn’t scrambling to figure things out on the fly.
The Soundtrack to My Healing: What I Listened To
Music and podcasts are my road trip essentials. They keep me alert, entertained, and emotionally anchored.
On the drive up, I played a mix of upbeat tracks from Latto and Nicki Minaj—nothing like a fierce female anthem to make you feel powerful behind the wheel.
But I also balanced that with thoughtful listening. I tuned into The Daily by The New York Times and The Cut podcast from New York Magazine. The news and cultural commentary kept my mind engaged, preventing that spiral of rumination that often comes with long drives and grief.
On the way back? A soulful playlist of old-school R&B and California dream-pop. Sometimes, silence isn’t peaceful. Sound can be the bridge to stillness.
Fueling the Journey: What I Snacked On
Let’s be real—hunger can ruin a good vibe fast. Low energy leads to irritability, and irritability kills relaxation.
I packed:
- Protein bars (KIND and RXBAR are my go-tos)
- Whole-grain crackers
- Dried fruit and nuts
- Sparkling water with a splash of juice
These snacks kept my blood sugar stable and my mood even. No hangry meltdowns, no unnecessary stops. Just smooth sailing down the Pacific Coast Highway.
Pro tip: Keep a small cooler in the car. It’s perfect for chilled drinks and perishable snacks.
Where I Stayed: Hotel Californian – A Sanctuary by the Sea
The Hotel Californian wasn’t just a place to sleep—it was a sanctuary. Nestled in the heart of Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone, this 121-room boutique hotel blends Moroccan elegance with California cool. Think hand-painted tiles, arched doorways, and lush courtyards that feel like a hidden oasis.
Opened in 1925 and recently revitalized, the hotel celebrated its 100th anniversary in 2024. It’s hosted everyone from Miley Cyrus to John Mayer, but it never feels flashy. Instead, it radiates warmth and intentionality.
From my room, I could hear the ocean. The rooftop pool offered panoramic views of the Pacific. And the Society: State & Mason wine bar? A dream. I sipped on Banshee “Ten of Cups” Sparkling Brut and Roth’s 2022 Chardonnay while watching the sunset paint the sky in gold and lavender.
But the real healing came from the little things:
- Walking barefoot on the beach just steps from the lobby
- Reading under a palm tree with salt in the air
- Treating myself to a massage at the on-site spa
- Scooping coffee ice cream from McConnell’s Fine Ice Cream—a local favorite
This wasn’t indulgence. It was restoration.
The Food & Wine: Nourishment for Body and Soul
Santa Barbara is a food lover’s paradise, and I made sure to savor every bite.
At Loquita, I indulged in crudo tapas and a perfectly balanced margarita. The flavors were bright, bold, and celebratory—exactly what I needed.
Dinner at Blackbird, the hotel’s signature restaurant, was a revelation. I ordered the blackened cod with lentils and arugula, paired with a glass of merlot. Each bite felt like a small act of self-love.
And the wine? Santa Barbara County is one of California’s top wine regions, known for its cool-climate varietals. A tasting at Pali Wine Co. introduced me to rich pinot noirs and crisp sauvignon blancs—each glass a toast to resilience.
Eating well isn’t just about calories. It’s about connection, pleasure, and honoring your body after loss.
What I Took Away: The Gift of Rest
This trip taught me something profound: rest is not laziness. It’s resistance. Resistance against a culture that glorifies burnout. Resistance against the idea that we must always be “on.”
In a world that moves too fast, choosing to slow down is revolutionary.
Santa Barbara reminded me that healing doesn’t always happen in therapy offices or through grand gestures. Sometimes, it happens on a beach with a book in your hand. Sometimes, it’s a glass of wine at sunset. Sometimes, it’s saying, “I’m not okay,” and then giving yourself permission to be somewhere beautiful anyway.
I came for a weekend. I left with a renewed sense of self.
Planning Your Own Mental Health Road Trip? Here’s How
Inspired to plan your own restorative escape? Here’s how to make it meaningful:
- Choose a destination within driving distance – Close enough to reduce stress, far enough to feel like a true getaway.
- Pack with intention – Bring items that comfort and ground you.
- Create a loose itinerary – Include both activities and open space for reflection.
- Curate your soundtrack – Music and podcasts can shape your emotional journey.
- Prioritize self-care – Book a massage, eat well, and allow time for silence.
- Let go of guilt – Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish. It’s survival.
And if you’re grieving? Go anyway. Grief doesn’t disappear with distance—but sometimes, the right place can help you carry it differently.
Final Thoughts: Santa Barbara, and Ourselves, Are Worth the Drive
I used to think healing looked like moving on. Now I know it looks like showing up—tired, sad, messy, but present.
Santa Barbara didn’t fix me. But it held space for me. And in that space, I found moments of peace, joy, and even laughter.
If you’re carrying a heavy heart, consider this your invitation. Take the road trip. Book the hotel. Eat the ice cream. Listen to the waves.
You don’t need a reason to rest. You just need to begin.
